I felt for your instructor 

And hoped he had nerves of steel 

It seemed no time since you were starting to walk 

That you were learning to drive was unreal 


You drove off and up the road 

Jerking and revving loudly 

I put my head in my hands 

Not a mum watching her daughter proudly 


You came back an hour later 

The instructor shaken and white 

‘I think it might really help  

if she knew her left from her right.’ 


Maybe he was short of business 

But he came back every week 

‘Now we just need to practise 

what’s called the turning technique’ 


I think he meant the wheel 

You weren’t ready for a three point turn 

Apparently you still had 

‘Rather a lot to learn’ 


To give you some more practice 

Dad said he’d take you out 

He joked it was like the dodgems 

And earned himself a clout 


You proved you could do an emergency stop 

When you had that ‘concentration lapse’ 

The pedestrian was fine thank goodness 

But the wall all but collapsed 


You passed the written test 

As you knew the manual by heart 

But then came the actual driving 

That was the difficult part 


Now I am a proud mum 

Of course you passed first go

 But please don’t ask to borrow my car 

The answer will be no


You worked and saved so hard 

But could only afford anti freeze 

So we’ve got you a little run around 

Here, darling, a set of keys ...